Questions, my life has been filled with questions. For years I had been looking for answers. Who is Ernie Pahlek? How did I get here? What is my purpose here on earth? And lastly, where am I going when I die?
When I look back on those years I have come to realize that my life on earth has been a bittersweet journey to somewhere else. When I was young I wrote my plans in ink. Then in my 40’s I wrote my plans in pencil because things kept changing. Now in my 60’s I realize that I cannot control anything in my life.
Circumstances have taught me that someone else has the eraser to my penciled in plans. My life has been a rollercoaster ride. But most of all I realize that I have been continually shaped by hammer blows on an anvil by a hand much greater than my own.
When I look in the mirror I see myself at every continuing stage of physical development. Each stage has brought further decay of a body that continues on its way back to the dust from which it was formed. But when I look into my eyes, I can now see my soul shining within me. For there is an eternal light contained in my eyes, for they are the windows into my Eternal Soul.
Now as I look back through my life, I understand that God holds the hammer and continues to lovingly re-form me on an anvil into His Image so I can go home to live with HIM for Eternity. Come with me on my journey back in time to find the answers.
The voices, can you hear them? There were three distinct and separate voices talking to each other about a plan. I was there just like a fly on the wall listening. It was the strangest thing…I was there among three but somehow within only the ONE. I had no feeling of physicality or of being.
Did you hear, they used the term Birth Pangs…what did they mean? Somehow I knew it meant something specific yet it was more than that because I had the feeling that they were referring to me. Yet I was to find out later that I was but an infinitesimally, small part of the birth pangs.
Oh MY GOD…He knows I am listening to their conversation. His eyes turn inward towards me. His look is soft and loving…as He gazes upon me. I am confused, I don’t understand where I am, but He knows. He calls my name…and then begins to explain the plan to me. Ernie, you live for now in my mind, you are part of my being. I have given you the gift of conscience. You live for now within me. The day will come in the future when I will live within you.
You can hear me but not see me with your eyes. Soon you will be born into a body of flesh. You will have many gifts within you as you live out the days of your life in the flesh. You will have five senses that will feed information to you regarding your surroundings and the world I have created for you.
You will have eyes to see, ears to hear, hands to touch, taste buds to taste and a nose to smell with. These five senses will come together to help you on your quest to find the uniqueness that is you. Yet there is another sense that you have within you. This sense will be greater than all the rest. But it will be buried deep within you and will not be quickened immediately. It will remain within you dormant for a while.
This sense will bring you back to me when it comes alive within your heart of hearts. Then and only then will you understand who you truly are, your purpose for living and you will begin to worship Me…The True God who created you and all that there is.
As you walk the Earth that I have created, your five senses will help you see me in the Creation around you. Many others that have already had their new sense ignited will come to you on my behalf. They will help you to understand my plan and the part you are to play in it.
There is a book I have written just for you. They are the Words from My own mouth. When you find this book you will eat of it and it will feed your soul. This book will be both bitter and sweet to your taste. It will be sweet when you find ME within its pages. It will be bitter when you realize not all those you love or know have found ME within its pages.
Your tears will be great for those who do not know Me. Your heart will break for them. But you in the end will have JOY in the MORNING. For I have given you a life that will never end. I also have given them a life that will never end. But you will know that the end of the journey is just the beginning of your life with ME.
And they will know that the end of their journey is but the beginning of their life without ME. Soon you will be born of flesh only to die in a short time. For I have said, life is like a wisp of smoke in the wind. It is seen for a brief moment and then it is gone and forgotten.
So prepare now for your birth in the flesh. I have already prepared you for your re-birth in MY Spirit.
As you leave the Light of My Presence to take your place within the womb of darkness that will open into a land of light and shadows. Do not be afraid for I have promised to be with you always. I will never leave you nor forsake you because you belong to me. You are being prepared as a love gift for my Son…who loves you as much as I do.
His words were now fading rapidly into the shadowy mist in my mind as I began to move out from my mother’s womb into the light filled with shadows. My fists were clenched in rage as my lungs filled with air and I began to cry. I would forget all that I had heard from HIS lips. I would forget the voice of quiet thunder and those soft eyes that looked upon me with such love.
But hidden deep within the very heart of my being this new sense within me would gently echo the words of HIS one phrase… “I have already prepared you for your re-birth in MY Spirit.”